Finding Audrey

Spoiler Alert: You are worth so much more than your fears.

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Caught in the midst of bullying classmates and a whirlwind of a family, fourteen year-old Audrey finds it easier to blend in than to stand out. Plagued with anxiety disorder, the young protagonist must navigate love, friendship, and fear in this heartwarming and easy to read coming-of age novel. I personally quite enjoyed the story, and found my heart aching for Audrey. Growing up is hard enough without having to come to terms with a past breakdown and agoraphobia. No matter how many books I read with central young female characters, I am always struck by the common threads that hold us all together (even throughout fictional characters.) Although distorted on a large scale, I related heavily to Audrey's insecurities and anxieties. It can be a scary world when every day tasks seem monumental and daunting. Although the book is a bit cheesy and quite optimistic, I also appreciated the fact that it didn't paint anxiety as something to conquer, but rather something to learn to live with. I think this was a good lesson for me. Audrey learns, and perhaps teaches readers as well, that there are many healthy ways to overcome ones fears. For example, Audrey takes this on in the form of creativity: namely filming a documentary about her family. Not only do these documentary script style scenes offer us funny and light-hearted dialogue, but an insight into the backdrop of Audrey's life: her zany and almost ridiculous family. What her family members lack in originality (they are consisted of the cliche overbearing mother, clueless father, and gamer delinquent brother), they make up for in incredible heart. While Audrey feels alienated and foreign even in her own household, her relationship with her family members all felt pure and honest. The book is also complete with a sweet (albeit slightly unrealistic) young love story between Audrey and the sensitive Linus. Their relationship presents not only a burgeoning romance (that will likely appeal to readers) but also demonstrates Audrey steady courage in beginning to connect with other. In fact, I was particularly inspired by Audrey's bravery throughout the story. In the beginning, Audrey wears dark shaded sunglasses and is unable to look anyone directly in the eyes -- with the exception being her baby brother. Throughout the book however, Audrey consistently shows growth and courage. She makes a new friend, forgives and old one, and even visits a crowded coffee shop despite her terror. I would recommend many young people to read this -- especially those dealing with low self worth or those who find their nerves are uncontrollable. The book was a sweet and easy read, yet stayed in my mind for a while after. By the end of the story, much to the surprise of her family, Audrey stops wearing her sunglasses. She is again able to look loved ones in the eyes. She stops hiding herself away from the world and begins to slowly but surely embrace her fears by confronting them head on. She realizes that for all of her insecurity and uncomfortable feelings, she still has the capacity to love and be loved. Her anxiety disorder is not a short coming but a challenge -- one she realizes she will never have to face alone. The main takeaway of the story for me was this: being fearless is not about having no fear, but rather about acknowledging your own anxieties and doing what scares you anyway. In her own way, and in the obstacles she faces, Audrey is fearless. And that is so inspiring for young girls to see.

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Favorite Quotes: "If I'm the queen of overreaction, Mum is the empress." ~~ "Here I am. Stuck in my own stupid brain." ~~ "Other people's eyes are limitless and that's what scares me." ~~ "I think what I've realized is , life is all about climbing up, slipping down, and picking yourself up again. And it doesn't matter if you slip down. As long as you're kind of heading more or less upwards. That's all you can hope for. More or less upwards." ~~ "You keep saying 'I'm fine' to people when you're not fine. You think you should be fine. You keep saying to yourself: 'Why aren't I fine?'"