Go Ask Alice

Spoiler Alert: You're closer to the edge than you could ever know.

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Go Ask Alice is a haunting and memorable cautionary tale about the dangers of addiction and the horrible mistakes that cost a lifetime. Beautifully written and told in compelling first person narrative, this book was almost impossible to put down. I was originally drawn to this story because of its mysterious "anonymous" authorship. Reading the real life account of a girl who documented her descent into terror appealed to me greatly. And although I do not regret reading the story in the slightest, after some light research I have found that the book in fact is a work of fiction written by Beatrice Sparks, a teen psychologist. While I am not angry at this false marketing, and I acknowledge that I may not have even found the book in the first place had I known the truth, I will admit that there were a few flaws in the story as a result of some false expectations of mine. For example, the author seems to portray the protagonist as an oversimplified version of what she believes a distraught teenager to be. Although parts of the book are more convincing than others, in some scenes, particularly the most dramatic, I found the author trying to force meaning or messages to the reader. When people are writing for survival, like the hero of this story, they don't usually write inspiring messages or overt cautionary tales -- at times the story felt false. However, all of this is NOT to say that I did not enjoy the book. The story beautifully handled some heavy subjects that earned it the title of "controversial;" This included many depictions of sex, rape, homelessness, and of course constant drug use. While the many vivid descriptions could be quite graphic, I found the story, on the whole, to be incredibly well-written and intriguing. Never have I read such a detailed narration of what it's like to be on LSD. Quite the cautionary tale, the story follows our anonymous young protagonist as she goes from a young 15 year old girl, one who worries about boys and moving and school, to a depressed and completely lost woman, experiencing misery far beyond her years. I found the main character to be quite admirable. Her circumstances before her addiction were also quite relatable to me and I'm sure to many young girls. This made her journey into darkness and drug abuse even more harrowing. A beautifully structured and layered story, this diary of a girl amidst her unravelling is important and gripping. The message isn't as simple as just "don't do drugs," but rather, don't lose yourself despite how easy it may be to try.

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Favorite Quotes: “It's a good thing most people bleed on the inside or this would be a gory, blood-smeared earth.” ~~ “I'm not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I've gotten from books.” ~~ “I really am only one infinitely small part of an aching humanity.” ~~ “I guess I'll never measure up to anyone's expectations. I surely don't measure up to what I'd like to be.” ~~ “How is it possible for me to be so miserable and embarrassed and humiliated and beaten and function still talk and smile and concentrate?" ~~ I'm afraid to live and afraid to die.”