Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Spoiler Alert: Growing up is just coming to terms with how much of a mess life really is

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I'll be blunt, what a total, utter disappointment -- but I've never cried harder. Actually that's a lie. I'm going to be honest with you, the hardest I've ever cried (at any movie/book) was at the movie adaptation, but I mean still the same story. Weirdly enough though, I closed this book blankly feeling dismal and quite unfortunately unhopeful. This entire book the protagonist told me over and over that this story would not be hopeful or cheesy in anyway -- but I didn't believe him. I guess it's the part of me that loved The Fault in Our Stars, that craves a message within the tragedy, or maybe likes a little cheesiness. This book had some laughs. Actually this book had some laughs out loud which in anything is worth commending. The storyline was realistic, if not sweet. The characters were admirable and painfully awkward at times (*cough, cough* relatable) and I found myself rooting for their happy ending. I kept waiting for a meaningful moment - at least one that I could make meaningful in my head. But none came. That's when I realized you truly have to make them on their own. Greg, the "author" of this book, really didn't know Rachel, the titled "dying girl." Nonetheless he was a good friend to her, even for a short time. Earl, the short-tempered and foul-mouthed coworker of Greg, even turned out to have a big heart when it came to his friends. So if you think this is a lame attempt at me finding meaning in an otherwise meaningless book, it's not. I truly believe that the moments Greg shared with Rachel, and Earl, and even his parents, were important, even if they were realistic without being sappy. The end of the book was sad to me. Greg said himself he didn't feel changed or an amazing friend or anything. He, like many other high school graduates, felt lost and was pitying himself. Although Earl was able to turn the second part of that around, I wanted a bigger conclusion. A more general statement tying in everything Greg learned. I don't want you to take my review the wrong way. I know I've spent most of this entry talking about how disappointed I am, but this book was in fact insanely well-written, witty, and original. It had a sarcastic humor and take on the world that was refreshing. It was self aware and heartfelt. I say heartfelt as in made with heart, not heartfelt as in crossing the line into cheesiness. The relationships, as well as the storyline, as I've already mentioned, were realistic and heartbreaking. I don't usually use weird metaphors to describe a book but I think this one deserves one. It's like, other coming of age tragedies butter up your heart with meaning, and cute quotes, and perfect scenarios. And then, they make you cry with said tragedy, timed and calculated to hit you right in the feels and cry like every other reader before you. I'm not being cynical - I love those books. Those books are my favorite - I promise. But then it's like this book just goes along and then, without any buttering up, BAM, breaks your heart, just seemingly out of nowhere, but actually should have seen it coming. It kind of hits you before you have time to react, then ends before you have time to think. Not dragging the book, I loved it despite my initial mixed reaction, it's just something to think about. So even though this book was sad, with sort of an open-ended question as the ending, it was a realistic and beautiful piece. It laughed at itself, cried at itself, and smiled at itself. I don't know if that made sense, but anyway - I'm very glad to have read it.

(P.S. See movie blog to learn about the Sun Dance Film Festival award-winning movie version of this book. No big.)

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Favorite quotes: “One thing I've learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking.” ~~ “The most beautiful thing about you is that you’re not a sock puppet.” ~~ “The best ideas are always the simplest.” ~~ “Theory: People always get fired up when an unattractive girl an unattractive dude are dating each other.” ~~ “I am the Thomas Edison of conversational stupidity.” ~~ "It was weird learning something new about her even after she had died. Somehow it was also reassuring, though. I don't know why." ~~ "Honestly? I don't know what the hell I'm talking about."